MG & Sex : The Odd Couple

Dear readers, probably you’ve figured out what I’m going to be sharing with you.

Being honest and straightforward about it,  sex is a topic hard to breach because many of us (myself included) are hesitant to open ourselves to others because it makes us vulnerable.

Sex and Myasthenia are truly the odd couple.  One is vibrant and passionate and the other struggles with weakness and everything that comes with it.

blurred silhouette hand.
blurred silhouette hand.

I’ve been married for thirty years to the same guy.  I married the love of my life, my friend, and my high school sweetheart, however that doesn’t mean that we don’t face the same troubles all couples face when dealing with a chronic illness.

I’m not going to talk about the whats, whens, or hows of the sex situation, but about how I feel about having sex with a chronic illness.  Specially if you’re like me who turned forty  and began  feeling sick as a dog and bingo, a neurologist told me that I had MG.  The saddest part for me was that for most of my life I had been a healthy, vibrant and strong woman, so the last ten years have been a challenge.

Coming to terms with the new me wasn’t easy.

All of a sudden, the man I had chose to spend my days and nights became instead of my friend and lover, my caregiver.  He helped me with all the basics, and keeping our love life as it used to be was out of the question.

It was time to reinvent ourselves as individuals and also as a couple.

At the early onset he would worry to a point where it wasn’t even worth the effort, because his fear of  how I was going to do the next day was terrible.  He would remorse constantly over everything and  if for some reason I would become weak, he would blame our lovemaking for it. That became our passion killer at least for some time.

Things changed after overcoming a couple of scary situations I’ve lived through , and nowadays it’s all about the moment. I cherish the days I’m strong enough and we make the best of it. He no longer worries so much and appreciates each day as a gift.

But most importantly I never gave up on that side of our relationship because he was ready to shift his role and I knew that if we went there things would never be the same.

Dealing with a chronic illness is and has always been hard on me and I didn’t want to miss on the beauty of sharing those moments with him, plus I thought it wasn’t fair for neither of us.

What worked for us was just talking and keeping our thoughts and wants in the open.  There is no other way, I feel blessed that this amazing man is part of my life and hope that you too have a special person to share a moment that makes you feel strong and alive.

So, my dear friends reaching that point where wellness surrounds us is tough, but we need to remember that our bodies our weak, but our will is strong.  And that is precisely what keeps us moving forward. Why would we miss out on anything life has to offer?

Plan your life because it’s yours and only yours,  and find meaning and purpose in each day reaching out to others. When we give it a try, it’s pretty amazing.

I invite you to come along on my quest for wellness not only of my body, but most importantly of my soul

 

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