Mind Over Body: My Choice!

Dear readers, all of us know by experience that living with a disability usually doesn’t produce joy or any sort of happiness. However, if we are to strive within our Myasthenia or any other form of chronic illness we would need to shift the gears of our thoughts.

What  does that mean?

via morgue file

photo image via morguefile

Well  I’ll just talk  about my experience, not in an ego centered way, but just telling you how I shifted my gears.  You know not all that works for one person makes a perfect fit for others and I’m not really into that either.  Some people think that their own choices are the miraculous solution for others and that’s not how it  works.

I’m  more about sharing what has worked for me and try to inspire others to look for their own thing. An autoimmune disease affects each person in different ways and forms. My personal objective is to share and create a space where you can try it out or just work something out that fits your needs.

Coming back to the topic at hand, after the necessary disclosure, when I first began dealing with the ups and downs of   living with Myasthenia to be honest  to the truth I only found disappointment, sadness,  isolation and a bit of anger all mixed in one big bottle.  For a while, I couldn’t even bring myself to talk about it.

My teaching career was over, I barely could take care of myself and  to top it all only my family and  close friends knew and understood my disease. To the rest of the world I looked perfectly normal.

It took me some time in a hospital bed to rethink all my situation.

I came to a crossroad where I would follow  the  path already  set in place or take another yet to be created.  One  where I would find joy in simple things in life.  Prior to that I really didn’t dig the whole gratitude thing, I would ask myself and what is it that I need to be grateful for?

However, there was a trick  to all this,  to be able to begin walking down the path of joy and gratitude, I would need to open up my heart and cultivate acceptance.   I would have to let go of patterns of negative thoughts that were ingrained in my spirit.  This written down sounds so spiritual and easy, but believe me it’s not. It’s actually excruciating and it takes a very long time.  It’s been more than thirteen years that I’ve been trying to achieve this each and every day since.

Once  in a while my bitterness shows up and I have to work myself through it. But, I say  to myself, “Hey, give me some slack,  I’m only human!” I don’t fight it off, I just receive  the emotion and make it part of who I am, the only thing different  is that I  keep on going and rediscover a place within me where I can find some peace and quiet to re- calibrate and move on.

Those who support you also make a huge difference in the outcome. Basically because when I’m not able to find that space within me they guide me to where it is. Reminding me all I have to be grateful for.

Positive and loving emotions do much more for me than negative and pessimistic ones.

Good vibes lift you up, while negative ones pull you down. Like everybody knows this, but it  easier said than felt.

Give it a try!!!!!  Your immune system  and soul will thank  you for it. Remember our bodies are just a small fraction of who we really are. Our mind can always control our body.  Our mind can’t take away our MG, but it can make our life so much better when we cultivate good things through it.  I hope you can take up my invite and begin some sort of healing process.

See you around and thanks for stopping by and remember be kind and compassionate to yourself.  Hasta pronto!

 

 

MG & Sex : The Odd Couple

Dear readers, probably you’ve figured out what I’m going to be sharing with you.

Being honest and straightforward about it,  sex is a topic hard to breach because many of us (myself included) are hesitant to open ourselves to others because it makes us vulnerable.

Sex and Myasthenia are truly the odd couple.  One is vibrant and passionate and the other struggles with weakness and everything that comes with it.

blurred silhouette hand.
blurred silhouette hand.

I’ve been married for thirty years to the same guy.  I married the love of my life, my friend, and my high school sweetheart, however that doesn’t mean that we don’t face the same troubles all couples face when dealing with a chronic illness.

I’m not going to talk about the whats, whens, or hows of the sex situation, but about how I feel about having sex with a chronic illness.  Specially if you’re like me who turned forty  and began  feeling sick as a dog and bingo, a neurologist told me that I had MG.  The saddest part for me was that for most of my life I had been a healthy, vibrant and strong woman, so the last ten years have been a challenge.

Coming to terms with the new me wasn’t easy.

All of a sudden, the man I had chose to spend my days and nights became instead of my friend and lover, my caregiver.  He helped me with all the basics, and keeping our love life as it used to be was out of the question.

It was time to reinvent ourselves as individuals and also as a couple.

At the early onset he would worry to a point where it wasn’t even worth the effort, because his fear of  how I was going to do the next day was terrible.  He would remorse constantly over everything and  if for some reason I would become weak, he would blame our lovemaking for it. That became our passion killer at least for some time.

Things changed after overcoming a couple of scary situations I’ve lived through , and nowadays it’s all about the moment. I cherish the days I’m strong enough and we make the best of it. He no longer worries so much and appreciates each day as a gift.

But most importantly I never gave up on that side of our relationship because he was ready to shift his role and I knew that if we went there things would never be the same.

Dealing with a chronic illness is and has always been hard on me and I didn’t want to miss on the beauty of sharing those moments with him, plus I thought it wasn’t fair for neither of us.

What worked for us was just talking and keeping our thoughts and wants in the open.  There is no other way, I feel blessed that this amazing man is part of my life and hope that you too have a special person to share a moment that makes you feel strong and alive.

So, my dear friends reaching that point where wellness surrounds us is tough, but we need to remember that our bodies our weak, but our will is strong.  And that is precisely what keeps us moving forward. Why would we miss out on anything life has to offer?

Plan your life because it’s yours and only yours,  and find meaning and purpose in each day reaching out to others. When we give it a try, it’s pretty amazing.

I invite you to come along on my quest for wellness not only of my body, but most importantly of my soul