Dear readers, I experienced the blessing of walking through the New York Botanical Gardens a few days ago. Now, don’t get the wrong impression about the walking part, I utilized the tram and walked just a bit. Yet, I walked in spirit through it all.
I am so grateful my spirit is enabled within my disabled body.
I truly believe all living species have a collective memory and we all breath the same air, and being in the midst of such beautiful surroundings I felt as if I could brush the sky with the tips of my fingers as the century old trees that live there and me became one.
When I was catching my breath sitting on a bench in the Rock Garden, I couldn’t stop thinking about Heaven.
People depending on their experiences have different perceptions on what they think Heaven may or may not look like. Since, I’m a generational gardener, for me it’s all in the soil. So, for a brief moment I had my little piece of Heaven.
With a grateful heart I closed my eyes and made a silent prayer for myself, asking God to give me guidance so I can be my best version, never taking advantage of anything or anyone to someday live in my eternal garden in peace with the life I lived in this wonderful world.
Thanks for stopping by, be gentle with yourself and others. Gentle goes a very long way.
Dear readers, all of us know the ups and downs that go on when you live with a chronic illness like Myasthenia Gravis. Our disability comes and goes like waves that hit the beach any given day. Some days rough, and others, subtle and gentle.
What makes it even more difficult is that we have what is known as an invisible disease. I am sure that most of us at one point or the other have heard, “you look really great”, even when we are trying to make a point of how bad we are feeling because we are going through a flare.
So I set myself on a mission!
I re-embarked myself on a journey of wellness.
Not an easy one by no matters because I find myself constantly battling with toxicity in every corner of my world. I would like to stress out the word re-embark because when I began this blog it was precisely about experiencing wellness and becoming fit not necessarily in a body building way, but in a mind-body way.
What probably went wrong was that I didn’t have the tools to reach within myself to achieve my pursuit of wellness and healing.
Precisely this blog was about recording my experiences and trying to inspire others along the way. Not only do I want to experience wellness and healing on a personal level, but I want others as well to be able to achieve the same thing.
It’s been a while since I’ve began to make small changes in my life that have had amazing results. To an extent, that I was able to detour a Gamma treatment for now. I don’t know if I’ll have to go through one later on during the year, but for the present moment I’m just grateful I didn’t go to the hospital in the present moment.
I’ve come to learn and still am, by the way, is that we are more than our bodies. We can already have a disseminated illness, to a sense irreversible, however we can still control many of the things that go on with us. WE CAN NOT BE WELL IF WE DO NOT GO THROUGH A PROCESS OF HEALING not only our bodies, but our souls or minds.
This initial post is about just coming upon the realization that we have the power within ourselves to reach in and move forward. MG is not stronger than our body-mind connections.
I will forever be grateful for stumbling on Fear from Thich Nhat Hanh and the groundbreaking work of Dr. Deepak Chopra.
Dear readers, trapped in the nuisance of dieting I’ve lost track of the days.
For starters, my husband got on the dieting train and he’s done much better than me.
I’ve mostly been haunted by PMS. I’m still wondering why in the heck am I still getting periods at my age. I will be more than happy when my period goes away forever.
Now getting back on track is going to take some willpower.
For me it’s all about the cheese. I love to eat cheese!
As I write this post some cheese and crackers are laughing at me. Teasing me, luring me into just taking a bite. They know I’m not suppose to snack on them. However, my grandma would always say, “El que rie ultimo, rie mejor” which means thee who laughs at the end, laughs with more joy.
So, if I were the cheese that’s in the refrigerator and the crackers in the pantry, I would be extremely quiet because I could use some carbohydrates right now.
Which leads us to the most important part of this all.
Tomorrow I’m at Day 1 all over again.
And this time I intend to go straight to Day 10 without hesitation. Why Day 10? Well, because those first ten days are crucial to staying on track. My husband already is feeling the benefits of dieting, his size 36 pants need a tighter belt for fitting.
Finally I just need to add one word to this, FOCUS.
It has to become my mantra for pulling this off. Each time temptation comes around the corner, I need to repeat FOCUS.
FOCUS on feeling better,
FOCUS on walking better,
FOCUS on living better, and so much more.
And don’t forget to do something that makes someone’s day better; make me company on my way to wellness; and, repeat my mantra FOCUS.
Dear readers, probably you’ve figured out what I’m going to be sharing with you.
Being honest and straightforward about it, sex is a topic hard to breach because many of us (myself included) are hesitant to open ourselves to others because it makes us vulnerable.
Sex and Myasthenia are truly the odd couple. One is vibrant and passionate and the other struggles with weakness and everything that comes with it.
I’ve been married for thirty years to the same guy. I married the love of my life, my friend, and my high school sweetheart, however that doesn’t mean that we don’t face the same troubles all couples face when dealing with a chronic illness.
I’m not going to talk about the whats, whens, or hows of the sex situation, but about how I feel about having sex with a chronic illness. Specially if you’re like me who turned forty and began feeling sick as a dog and bingo, a neurologist told me that I had MG. The saddest part for me was that for most of my life I had been a healthy, vibrant and strong woman, so the last ten years have been a challenge.
Coming to terms with the new me wasn’t easy.
All of a sudden, the man I had chose to spend my days and nights became instead of my friend and lover, my caregiver. He helped me with all the basics, and keeping our love life as it used to be was out of the question.
It was time to reinvent ourselves as individuals and also as a couple.
At the early onset he would worry to a point where it wasn’t even worth the effort, because his fear of how I was going to do the next day was terrible. He would remorse constantly over everything and if for some reason I would become weak, he would blame our lovemaking for it. That became our passion killer at least for some time.
Things changed after overcoming a couple of scary situations I’ve lived through , and nowadays it’s all about the moment. I cherish the days I’m strong enough and we make the best of it. He no longer worries so much and appreciates each day as a gift.
But most importantly I never gave up on that side of our relationship because he was ready to shift his role and I knew that if we went there things would never be the same.
Dealing with a chronic illness is and has always been hard on me and I didn’t want to miss on the beauty of sharing those moments with him, plus I thought it wasn’t fair for neither of us.
What worked for us was just talking and keeping our thoughts and wants in the open. There is no other way, I feel blessed that this amazing man is part of my life and hope that you too have a special person to share a moment that makes you feel strong and alive.
So, my dear friends reaching that point where wellness surrounds us is tough, but we need to remember that our bodies our weak, but our will is strong. And that is precisely what keeps us moving forward. Why would we miss out on anything life has to offer?
Plan your life because it’s yours and only yours, and find meaning and purpose in each day reaching out to others. When we give it a try, it’s pretty amazing.
I invite you to come along on my quest for wellness not only of my body, but most importantly of my soul