Our Enabled Spirits

Dear readers, I experienced the blessing of walking through the New York Botanical Gardens a few days ago. Now, don’t get the wrong impression about the walking part, I utilized the tram and walked just a bit. Yet, I walked in spirit through it all.

I am so grateful my spirit is enabled within my disabled body.

I truly believe all living species have a collective memory and we all breath the same air, and being in the midst of such beautiful surroundings I felt as if I could brush the sky with the tips of my fingers as the century old trees that live there and me became one.

When I was catching my breath sitting on a bench in the Rock Garden, I couldn’t stop thinking about Heaven.

People depending on their experiences have different perceptions on what they think Heaven may or may not look like. Since, I’m a generational gardener, for me it’s all in the soil. So, for a brief moment I had my little piece of Heaven.

With a grateful heart I closed my eyes and made a silent prayer for myself, asking God to give me guidance so I can be my best version, never taking advantage of anything or anyone to someday live in my eternal garden in peace with the life I lived in this wonderful world.

Thanks for stopping by, be gentle with yourself and others. Gentle goes a very long way.

Hasta pronto!

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The Big, The Little & All In Between

Dear readers, as I pushed through the doors leading to the chapel at Union Theological Seminary to get some ice cream after my daughter’s graduation and I saw for the very first time a flight of stairs that could have been as high as Mount Everest, the words that came through my mouth were, “Jesus Christ”.

stairs

You know life is like that sometimes, you just don’t expect situations that startle and alter your course and yet there they are.  Mostly we go on to voice just any words that comes to mind and face two alternatives, or either we back away or we tackle them full throttle.

Well I decided to tackle Mount Everest full throttle.  So off I went, step by step using the side bar as my assistant, I was almost half through when one of my daughter’s friends, Shawn, came to my rescue.   He offered me his hand and I gracefully took it and we went on, he gently said, “ice cream awaits”.

No explanations were asked or given as to why I  couldn’t  manage a three short flight of stairs.  When we reached our destination a thank you and hug were given and exchanged and we made the line together to get our much desired ice cream cone.

Having this disability has taught me many valuable life lessons, specially that I can’t back away from events in my life that may be seen as problems.  It’s easy and cowardice to do nothing at all to conquer a barrier.

In the minute I began my climb I took control of my life, yet I did need help, but that’s fine.  It’s all part of living with MG, I usually am going to need help.  The thing is that I accept that help gracefully and with gratitude.  Sometimes that help comes from a total stranger, a friend or a family member and each and every time it does, I’m just grateful.  I’ve learned not to resent that helping hand, but to embrace it.

I utilize this same approach for the big, little and all in between situations that suffice in my life.

I’ve come to terms with the phrase, “I used to do”, and have replaced it with,  “I do with the help of”.  The most important for me now a days is feeling I have control of my life and living the best I can utilizing the resources I have at hand.  Sometimes it means letting go and relinquishing the past.  It’s best to focus on the now and let the tomorrow take care of itself.

We are still in control of who we are and how we choose to live our lives.

See you around the corner and remember to be kind to yourself and to those who surround you every day.

Hasta pronto!

 

 

 

 

 

MG & Sex: Security or Mystery

Dear readers, having a chronic illness doesn’t mean we can’t spice up our relationships with some mystery now and then.

Security or surprise

Even though my husband offers me on a regular basis love, compassion, and most of all security, sometimes I like to run away from that same security.

I’m an incurable romantic spirit.

I absolutely love to read romance novels and one of the things the male protagonist always has is the  “mystery” factor.  I’m not gonna get a thrill if my  protagonist is reading the newspaper in the kitchen counter.

The thing is, sometimes I ask myself  “Am I entitled to have that mystery in my life even if I have MG?”.

Well, I’ve come to terms over the years with this interrogative and have  come to the conclusion that not only me, but all of us deserve to have everything that a relationship has to offer.

On my own, it’s hard to come up with great ideas so I often get inspired by this amazing relation therapist Esther Perel, who by the way is a Ted Speaker and after  reading and listening to her I come up with an idea or two.

Now here comes the best part, as a person who has MG I have to be extra creative.  Now this can go in two different directions. One, we come up with new ideas or the other way around,we come up with no ideas.

You see my dear friends, it’s not bad at all to want more than we have sometimes.

Sex for MG patients, is a bit like every other thing in our lives.  We have to wait sometimes till the good days come around. That can add to the surprise factor, because in the moment you least expect it, Wham, you get to have one of those days.

If I’m having an extra extra good day, we go out for a dinner date, if not we stay at home cuddling and just talking about things only related to US. We leave everybody and everything out of the equation even if its just for a little bit.

When I want to wear a nice piece of lingerie or something nice for a dinner date online shopping works fine for me.  My secret for perfect fitting is that I shop at the same stores I used to go to and I try to buy the same lines of clothing or lingerie so I know how the sizes run.

Believe me, it’s all worthwhile the effort when my husband gives me the “delightfully surprised look” and words fail to express how great I feel about that.

So you see, my dear friends we all need security, but we also can’t leave out some element of surprise.  Each one of us gets to chose what that element will be. Don’t miss out on anything just because we live with a chronic illness.

Please, don’t forget to find meaning and purpose in each day, and to reach out to others creating bonds of sister and brotherhoods.

See you on my path to wellness.